|A mullet you can set your watch by|
There are a lot of old cars on the road in Hamilton. Some are vintage and lovingly maintained, but many more are just mufflerless rustmobiles that carry their original owners around town. Partly this is down to Hamilton not being very affluent, but it's also because Hamiltonians aren't embarrassed to be seen driving clunkers. A Torontonian would die rather be seen in a car with a single rust spot, but in here in Steeltown it's almost a badge of pride to be driving something that looks like a chunk of the Rust Belt come to life.
2. Shirtless Men
Anytime the sun is out Hamilton men doff their tops. Young, old, fat, pasty, skinny, buff, sunken-chested or hairy, it doesn't matter, the guys love to soak up the rays. It doesn't actually have to be warm for the T-shirts to come off. Even if the temperature is barely over 10 Celsius, as long as the sun is shining then it's time for a tan in Hamilton. And on days that are truly hot the city actually fines men caught out in public with their shirts on.
Starchy, stodgy and usually adorned with fatty sour cream, pierogies have to be the least glamorous food dish. No Michelin-starred chef ever rose to fame on the strength of his or her pierogies. Hamilton loves them. All non-chain restaurants have them on the menu and supermarkets sell them frozen in bags the size of pillowcases. If iron ore is the main ingredient in steel making, then pierogies must be the main ingredient in steelworkers.
4. Children Playing In The Streets
What's so odd about that, you ask? Well in Toronto kids are so rigorously nannyed, playdated and daycared that they almost never appear in public. Hamilton kids are out in the streets playing road hockey, skipping rope, hopscotching, biking, running, jumping, in short, acting like kids from when I was a kid. And all of them unsupervised! Seeing an unchaperoned child in Toronto is virtually cause to call 911, but Hamilton's urchins traipse around all over the place, mostly going to Tim Horton's to pick up coffee for their parents.
5. Mobility Scooters
|Could he make it to Tim's before closing time?|
6. Incompetent Jaywalkers
Based on roadkill evidence squirrels and raccoons are the worst mammals at crossing the road. Hamiltonians come a close third. Hamilton's citizenry, seemingly heedless of the advent of the horseless carriage, will blunder into the roadway without taking any notice of squealing tires, blaring horns or shrieking, swearing drivers. I have no explanation for this behavior; perhaps they want to get themselves into a scooter (see above).
7. No-Frills Restaurants
|Gordon Ramsay regretted hiring a Hamilton interior designer|